I’ve been trying to figure out how I feel about turning forty this week. I’m not feeling like I’m birthday depressed or at some mid-life crisis stage. I’m constantly busy with things I love so I’m saving my mid-life crisis for fifty plus. I know I’m likely far from starring death in the face, but it is becoming pretty apparent that time is only moving forward.
Like many others, I haven’t been looking forward to turning forty. It’s a birthday you are put up to dread. You can’t just ignore it, no one will let you! In reality, I don’t think I care that much.
The round numbers are a good time to reflect. I look back to turning thirty. All I can really do is smirk and shake my head. I probably wouldn’t believe you if you told me that day where I am today. It’s worked out too well to really believe.
I was on vacation on the Cape for my thirtieth with Mandy and a couple of other friends. Mandy and I had just started seeing each other a couple of months before. This was her first time to meet my folks (and everyone else in my family). I’m pretty impressed she was willing to dive right in with everyone. I was working for myself at the time, enjoying being on a paid holiday ninety precent of my time.
Looking back at that week, flying around in a convertible putting the Cape on a Patron shortage, to this week, wow – big change. Now we are flying around in a Subaru mom car with car seats and wet wipes. Worried about school ranking, tuition bills, life insurance, and where the hell the extra magnet lock key went. I’ve never felt so busy, yet so satisfied and happy, ever. I suspect this is why it’s not too bad turning forty.
I look over the last ten years and I realize I’ve only gone to two and a half funerals. Fairly certain the ’08 Superbowl didn’t really count as Grandpa’s funeral (felt like one at the end of the game). Granted if I was living back in my home town I’d of been at a few others, but it highlights that it’s been a lucky decade for my family.
We’ve welcomed so many babies into the family. Everyone has been healthy and beautiful. I can’t believe how much our boys Henry and Jonah along with my niece Lennox have change my perspective on life. The amount of joy and love that I’ve learned I could hold is what is most unbelievable. I’m so thankful I’ve been able to possess that.
I look at the photo above and I just can’t think of much to be regretful of. Life is in a good place for us. It’s all I could of asked for.
Now it’s time to look forward. I have many things to wish for for the next ten years, but there are just a few that I need. I need an updated version of the above with my fourteen (almost fifteen) year-old Henry, eleven year-old Jonah, and the same smiles, with a few extra wrinkles on Mandy and myself. I hope to go to less funerals and experience more births (not ours – just lucky friends and family). I hope to have a healthy senior version of our dog, Scout, by our side. Along with health, I can only hope to have the same positive outlook I have today. Numbers are just numbers. Experience and outlook are everything.
Here’s to the big 4-0!